Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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