i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is my gift to your gina
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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