Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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