You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
