Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.

(402): View more from Nebraska

but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.

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(804): View more from Virginia

My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.

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(913): View more from Kansas

It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch

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(425): View more from Washington

How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?

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