Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
