And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
