big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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