thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
