just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird