Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?