Some milfs here doing some blow
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.