i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
