I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
