I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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