theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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