Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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