was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
