and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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