opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
