Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
