omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
