You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
