i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
