Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
