can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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