you win again, gameday.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
