SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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