I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
this just has baby written all over it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
