I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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