shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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