thus making me awesome and them whores
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
