yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
