I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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