Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
