we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
vagina is talking i cant
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
