on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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