I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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