I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
