okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
