question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
