weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
