gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
