Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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