8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize