Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
