One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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