i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She's the barista slut.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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