is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
