sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
