just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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