There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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