i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
