awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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