Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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