He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
