you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
