There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
