How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
