I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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