We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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