no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
