i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
