Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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