she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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