hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I need to calm my uterus...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
