just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
